I am at a point in my life where I hate taking photos. I don’t even want to take them with my iPhone. That’s right. I literally hate taking photos. This may come as a surprise to most but to my closest friends and family, they’ve seen my battle.
Just Smash That Nikon Against The Wall
Over the years, like with any skill, you grow. There will still be bad days but there will always be many amazing days. That’s just the way it works. With that said, I have had my fair share of rough photographer days.
Some times, photos just don’t turn out. They don’t. The weather is crap, the clothes on your clients are dull and boring. They ask to be photographed in the most dreadful place. Or your favorite lens breaks.
Then you have the clients from those awful shoots trash you befind your back. Hell. They do it to your face as well in front of potential clients. In the past 2 years, I’ve tried to have more tack when it comes to people in general. I will tell it like it is and that can get me in more hot water than I think at the time. So, I’ve calmed down. To me, I’ve become a push over. People – “friends”, no less, tend to walk all over me. I knew then that it was time for me to go back to the way I was. I’m a very strong and independent woman. I hold my own and I was tired of “being nice”.
I decided to step away from my camera. It took a little bit longer to step away from those toxic friends as well. The weight that was lifted off my shoulders was enormous. You never know what lies ahead but you have to take the step forward and just do it. I am sure some of those toxic people are going to read this and wonder if I am talking about them. I hope they do. They pushed me to a low I didn’t know existed. I hated my work. I hated myself for things that weren’t in my control (like the weather, their poor clothing choices, their attitudes, etc).
To be honest, I haven’t picked up my camera in a while.
My Nikon D610 has been sitting in a bag since Halloween. I remember taking a photo of the kids then I put it away. Once in a while, I will use my Fujifilm Instax Wide300. If I use my iPhone to take a photo, it’s mostly to send to Marty. The class I teach is only fun because my students are awesome. They make me laugh. Plus, they are creative.
I let the negativity of a few people bring me down. However, it has lead to a new closeness for Marty and I. While I may not shoot like I use to, he has picked it up. We have decided to try a different style of camera for our travels. It is currently on back order and will hopefully be here soon.
There! If you were wondering why I stopped completely, it’s out there. I let a bunch of hypocritcal jerks bring me down. Not any more.